Harvest Moon: Autumn Fashion


Must resist the urge to start singing *this is halloween this is halloween* .....

Straight off the bat we're all going to agree that I am in my weather ELEMENT! It's sunny but cold, and I love that each day has it's own season, cold then warm then cold. In my opinion, how a day should be. I know and feel comfortable about dressing for this weather. I get to layer whilst feeling comfortable but not too stuffy. This change in seasons is my favourite, always has been and always will.

Although sometimes I think no one ever reads these blogposts anymore, social media has become so fast moving, they feel therapeutic to write. Even though I'm getting more blind every time and I have about 20 pairs of glasses all of which seem to have escaped me right now. I have been watching the film Blonde on Netflix and I can't decide whether I like it or not. It's a relatively supposed inaccurate depiction of Marilyn Monroe's life with a lot of styling and dramatisation but I do feel it invokes the kind of emotions it was intended to. I feel that fame is glorified to the point of people seeming untouchable but this films shows that not everything is rosy at the top. 

It also reminds me of what we see nowadays with people like Kim Kardashian. Can do no right, can do no wrong. The toll that that takes on peoples mental and physical health and what that whole experience can do to a person.  

As we know I have been doing my own journeys with therapy, anxiety and psychology which is now a huge part of my life and our podcast. My next avenue is memory recovery. It's not something I have ever really talked about before but it's an insecurity of mine that I can't remember a lot of parts of my life. Be that due to trauma or stress or alcohol or all of those things put together, I am consistently feeling more calm and more in tune and in line with myself and maybe a big piece of the puzzle is remembering things I have pushed down or my brain has deemed not reliable or relatable to now. 

It seems madness to me that things can happen and we just forget them forever lost, kind of sad really. Your brain also reconstructs memories based on what it wants to experience and thing and thoughts you've added along the years so they aren't particularly reliable anyway. They are our own construction of the past things we are either glad happened, or wish happened another way, and no one, not even ourselves will ever know the full truth unless it's on film. 

I will leave you with these final words from the Lana Del Rey short film Ride, that have always resonated with me and stuck with me all these years:

"I was always an unusual girl
my mother told me I had a chameleon soul
no moral compass pointing due north
no fixed personality
just an inner indecisiveness
that was as wide and as wavering as the ocean
and if I said I didn't plan for it to turn out this way I'd be lying

Because I was born to be the other woman
who belonged to no one
who belonged to everyone
who had nothing
who wanted everything

with a fire for every experience and an obsession for freedom that terrified me to the point that I couldn't even talk about it 
and pushed me to a nomadic point of madness that both dazzled and dizzied me

Every night I used to pray I'd find my people
And I finally did 
out on the open road
we had nothing to lose, nothing to gain, 
nothing we desired anymore
except to make our lives into a work of art

live fast,
die young,
be wild,
and have fun"

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