Turning 22

"All that glitters is not gold and things that look warm are often cold." by Jocelyn Galvano-Pickett

I have never been that person that wants to coast through life and just do whatever will get me by. I have always had a plan and always known what i wanted, but this serves to only encourage me to punish myself when things don't go right even if they are beyond my control. If graduating university wasn't hard enough, setting up a business, managing increasing anxiety issues and maintaining a (failing) social and romantic life is just the icing on the very elaborate cake with candles too bright and buttercream that hurts your teeth. Things can change so quickly that where i am now will be no patch on where i am in 3 or 5 or 8 days time and the constant flow of influences on personal well being throwing you off centre for minutes or days at a time all contribute to where you end up. For every loss there is always something to be gained.
So may I present my new Dior sunglasses, my 22nd gift to hide behind.
It seems strange to accept such a thoughtful birthday gift from a person that shattered my heart in the same breath, but i try not to attach material items to specific people, otherwise you set yourself up for a life filled with people-shaped-objects with too much feeling and meaning and not enough practical use.
As i turn another year older, i find myself questioning everything, and wondering why we bother to make plans at all when in any case, be it work or personal, you can suddenly find yourself with a fist shaped whole in your heart trying to work out where it went wrong or who messed up your perfect plan. "Futures crumble when doubt appears". We are a generation of people who choose not to work through issues or hard parts, only wanting to stick around for the highlights and the best of the best, and are too often tempted away by the promise of something better or grass greener with blossoming roses and endless happiness. But the truth is that i don't know, you don't know and nobody really knows what they or anyone else wants, and what you think you want may well be the thing that eventually destroys you. It doesn't matter how pretty or smart or muscular or rich you are, because in the end if it doesn't fit it never will and the only hope is that the hurt will subside and something else will take its place. So 22 doesn't make me feel any different as a number, but what I've gone through since 21 has made me so much more cynical and unenthusiastic about the future, even in the final hours. Lets hope I'm not saying the same if and when i get to 23 ....

(Get them here - Sunglasses: Dior)