So everyone has a different idea of what 'self-care' looks like to them right? And with videos on TikTok and Reels being evermore 'it girl' trendy with morning routines and homemade smoothies, I am still trying to figure out what it is to me. The fact that it could change daily is also something that I have to come to terms with. Some days it's having a 2 hour long bubble bath with a good book or a YouTube video and other days it's doing my washing, tidying my apartment and changing my bedsheets because that's the only time I've had to do it that week.
I always look at those people that go to fancy bars and restaurants after work and think 'I wish I could do that' but the funny thing is, I CAN do that I just don't. Call it lazy or whatever but I just forget to do things I want to sometimes. So that's something new that I am willing to try in the coming months, is taking myself for a lunch or taking myself for a cocktail after work, lord knows the economy needs it.
So as I finish writing this post, I have done exactly what I wish I could control. I have been way too busy to even have the choice of wanting to do these fun things and a ‘schedule’ seems something that’s ever so non present in my life. It changes from week to week but realistically I have the same set of things to do each week, and then have to slot in 204734 more things in there somewhere too. I managed to move my desk and chair and a few bit into the office my best friend shares with me, I have a little room to myself so when I am there alone I can be in my own space. I am looking forward to starting out on that journey because I think half the reason I never do things I want to is the whole ‘why would I leave the house’ thing.
I must have been one of the few people who’s life actually suited being in lockdown and I actually enjoyed it. It worked with my inner recluse. Most people have the opinion that I love to be out and about and doing things all of the time and for some part that is true, especially when it involves food or cocktails, however the majority of the time I love being home. This is probably in part boosted by the fact I was diagnosed with Agoraphobia back in 2017/8 which is a fear of leaving the house, and I have worked so hard to be over that but really it does creep in a lot. I have stopped going to London as much as I used to, I don’t ever go out spontaneously and if someone cancels on me I’m really never sad about it. But I want and I NEED to change that because I am getting annoyed with myself and wanting to do things, so let’s all hold me accountable when I don’t leave the house for three days.
Plus I have all these beautiful clothes and bags and shoes that I need to wear and I’m not getting any use out of any of them ….My comfy cosy Spring love is a jumper dress, keeping me warm when it’s chilly but also not too thick that it overwhelms in the sunnier days. There are SO many to choose from at this time of the year so why not check them out and see if anything takes your fancy? I’m all about the greys and browns when it comes to the colours. And it seems these colours have creeped into other areas of my wardrobe too, most recently my new silk dress obsession. I cannot get over how glam they look even when they are so simple! I have featured a few silk numbers on my channels for the last couple of weeks, but if you need some more choices, have a look and see what you think!
So I guess in a roundabout way the moral of this post is holding myself accountable for actually doing things I want to do and not wasting my time away just going with the bare minimum of life. Want to go to that bar? Take yourself. Want to eat lunch out? Do it! Want to get dressed up fancy to sit in an office all day? Well when else am I going to get to!
Let me know how your 2022 is going so far and if you find an occasion for a silk dress!
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