I saw a really good quote on Instagram and I feel like it's super relevant to me, it said: "you hide when you cry because you want to be seen as a strong person, at the same time though, you hate how nobody notices how broken you are" and my word that hit me! I feel like we all put up such a front most of the time about how 'great' we are and how good we're doing. Constantly going through the motions and not having visible feeling so we don't feel like a burden or cause any confrontation or issues by either speaking our truths or reacting to situations that make us uncomfortable.
So then why are we surprised when everybody actually thinks we're okay? Surely that's what we want isn't it? That's what we have been asking for by our behaviour and our actions?
A benefit of studying and having an interest in psychology is that you learn a hell of a lot about yourself and the people around you (some of you have never struggled or had to take responsibility for yourself and it shows), but it's also a curse at the same time because you see things in people and situations that others around you don't. So at times you feel crazy because other people can't see situations unfolding and when you try to explain what will happen they use those beautiful rose tinted glasses we all reach for when something is uncomfortable. Then when the situation does eventually unfold like we said it would, they get mad when you say 'I told you so'.
So is it really a good thing to be more clued up or actually would blissful ignorance be much better for your mental and physical health?
On top of all of that, we now have this 'third person judgement' that is a concept that we haven't really been faced with before. But with cameras and photos and videos and phones being all so prevalent in our lives all of the time, event when you're not someone that share's much of their life on line or gets followed by paparazzi you still feel like "what do I look like when I eat this?" "does my bum look weird when I walk like this?" "what if someone takes a photo of me right now what would I look like"?
Thinking about all of that on a consistent basis is a sure fire way to mentally burnout, so for all the good that social media does connecting people and building businesses, it has created this invisible monster that follows us around all day every day.
Studying psychology as a degree is more than just 'learning a craft' or becoming a psychologist for me, it's about understanding people and what fundamentally makes us who we are, react how we do and create and form these relationships we all crave be that family, friends or spouse. But if the more educated we become, the more mentally taxing it is to be around and 'screening' other people all the time is it just something that will wear me down or will the fact that I can share bitesize pieces of knowledge to hopefully help other people make it worth it?
And in my own life, am I jeopardising my own personal happiness but always being able to see through people more than perhaps some others around me? Am I overanalysing people and making them aware of things they maybe actually didn't want to know?
I am aware there are a lot of questions in this but that is the kind of state I am in at the moment really, questioning whether it's something that will expand my intelligence but reduce my ability to want to engage in social activity.
I guess only time will tell, and reactions from those around me will help guide me towards the ways to handle all the knew knowledge I start to gain and how best to use it.
Outfit links below:
I feel like my style is very interchanging at the moment and probably just the same as the weather to be honest. Some days I will want to be cosy in a jumper dress whether I'm in the office or out for dinner, and other days I'll want to be all glam and dressed up in a satin dress. Other days I'll go for my more masculine side and opt for a matching tracksuit (LOVING this new one by the way) so I guess it depends on my mood and the environment, but we all just want to look how we feel inside right?
Outfits from FemmeLuxe:
Green Sequin Dress - https://femmeluxe.co.uk/emerald-sequin-halter-neck-bodycon-mini-dress-alyssa
Black Satin One Shoulder Dress - https://femmeluxe.co.uk/black-one-shoulder-belted-satin-midi-dress-elizabeth
Brown Button Knit Dress - https://femmeluxe.co.uk/chocolate-ribbed-long-sleeve-button-detail-bodycon-midi-dress-karina
Matching Brown Tracksuit - https://femmeluxe.co.uk/chocolate-oversized-exposed-seam-long-sleeve-sweatshirt-cuffed-joggers-loungewear-set-finely
*outfits gifted for content purposes
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